Joel & Corey
Established- March/April 2014
What was your first date ever?
Joel: I was probably in 6th or 7th grade, there was a girl in my class at school, I ask her out to go to a movie. Pretty sure we saw a Hillary Duff movie, and my dad picked us up and dropped us off. And I maybe kissed her on the cheek, I was pretty nervous.
Corey: My first little boyfriend was in the 8th grade, I don't know if we went out though, we would hang out at people's houses. I don't think I could actually tell you the first time I went out on a proper date. I guess I was a light dater.
2. Worst date you ever went on?
Corey: I got set up by my uncle with a furniture delivery guy that worked for him. We met out at a bar. He asked me what kind of drugs I was into, said he was really interested in trying shrooms. He'd been fired from his dad's furniture company for showing up drunk and hungover and taking spontaneous trips to Costa Rica. It wasn't tragic, he was just a painfully different personality than me. It drug on and was awkward.
Joel: Probably the first one was the worst, and then it got better from there. I didn't really date anyone that wasn't a girlfriend.
3. What did you like about being single?
Joel: No responsibilities. You don't really have to check in with anyone. I obviously love being in a relationship and being married, but everything in its time.
Corey: I was single a lot, so it was just very comfortable for me. I didn't have to work at a relationship or compromise, you just do. It wasn't the best ever, I don't miss being single.
4. What was your “type” when you were dating?
Joel: Brunettes. I don't think I've ever dated a blonde. Does that count? And they've all had pretty eyes.
Corey: I always went for brunette types of guys as well.
Joel: Tall dark and handsome.
Corey: Yeah, I mean I never dated a blonde either. I guess I always like athletic types. I wouldn't say I sought those out, it's just kind of what I found.
Joel: Not really a personality type though.
Corey: I always looked for someone more outgoing than I was. I can be quite shy so I wanted someone who was more the life of the party and could make me laugh.
5. How did you meet?
Corey: Good ol' Cruise ships.
Joel: Tale as old as time. I saw her first at the Garden Cafe like the buffet of the ship. I thought, "ok, she's pretty". Then one of her dancer friends introduced her to me late one night and we had a chat.
Corey: Then I avoided him for about a month.
Joel: Yeah, I would try to find any opportunity to hang out and it didn't happen very often.
Corey: Because I would see him coming and scurry away. Hence why I was single for a long time.
Joel: I wouldn't even want to go out but I'd go to the crew bar to see if she was around. I broke through eventually. Persistence is key.
6. How did you describe the other person to your friends before you introduced them?
Joel: I said she was a dancer obviously.
Corey: I said he was South African, cause that was a wild card.
Joel: It's weird because people would see pictures of her on Facebook before I told them and they'd start to say who's that?
Corey: That was part of the problem. Because we were on the ship and we didn't know if it would actually last we didn't really tell many people. I remember when my family came to visit and we were actually together and I was like, "This is Joel, ok, let's move on." Because, realistically, we didn't know if we would make it when we both went back to our homes. So when people ask about pictures of us together, I'd say, "I work with him, he's from South Africa, he's really nice, really fun.
Joel: Yeah, I would also say, she's from Rhode Island, she's a Rockette which is pretty cool, pretty eyes, nice butt.
7. What do you remember about the “define the relationship” conversation?
Corey: Probably not a lot, we actually never had the conversation.
Joel: We didn't have that set date from when we were officially together.
Corey: We weren't super traditional as far as that goes. We started getting together on the ship and never had that "are we exclusive" chat. Then we didn't know the exact date he was getting off the ship and it kind of just happened very fast.
Joel: Then we kept chatting once I'd gotten home. 14 hours a day.
Corey: Realizing how attached we were to each other. Then we started talking about when we were going to be able to visit each other. Then it just kept going from there.
Joel: At some point, it wasn't even spoken, it was just established that we were going to do this. Like most things we do.
8. Did anything about your relationship surprise you at first?
Corey: Kind of how easy it was, to be honest.
Maybe not for you. All the dates I'd been on in the past it was always such a game of who texts who first, and how long you have to wait between dates. Maybe because we were on ships in fun places and we just went out with friends. It was just easy.
Joel: Yeah, because I put in all the hard work before. That was probably most surprising. I've had to work before, but never as hard as I had to work for her. That was a good thing. It made me appreciate her that much more and want her that much more. It's the thrill of the hunt, the thrill of the chase. But otherwise, pretty smooth sailing
9. Did you give anything up for this relationship?
Corey: I would say Joel gave up a shit ton.
Joel: I left my country and family and friends and earthly possessions behind. And even for the two years we were apart we gave up a lot of opportunities to sacrifice time and effort to invest in this person and you don't know what will happen. Most relationships are like that, but ours was more emphasized because we were on opposite sides of the world.
Corey: Yeah, he gave up way more than I did because he literally left everything to come over here. I guess when we were apart I gave up a big part of my time to internet and Facetime and all that, but he gave up so much.
10. What do you think the most challenging moment in your relationship was up to now?
Joel: Long distance wasn't easy. I would never recommend it to anyone. Just don't do it.
Corey: We did that for a little over 2 years. And we'd try to see each other every 6 months. So with my job, I could go for a couple of months at a time to stay with him. Then he'd come here for like 2 weeks. Then another 6 months.
Joel: And long distance wasn't a few hours away, it was in another time zone. It's on the other side of the world. If we can do that we can do anything.
11. What’s your favorite part of the relationship now?
Corey: Being together every day.
Joel: We don't have to do anything or say anything, just being together is so great. We spent so long being apart having forced conversation
Corey: Sometimes you don't have anything going on but you still have to be like, "what are you doing, or what's happening there". So now we don't have to do anything.
Joel: It's awesome if we go out and if we're doing stuff but it's also great to just sit on the couch at home.
Corey: I think we enjoy a lot of time together, maybe compared to other people.
Joel: It's not often that we get on each other's nerves.
12. What inspires you about your partner?
Joel: She's independent and smart and funny. It sounds so cliche, but yeah, there aren't a lot of girls that I get along with. Girls can be...whatever. But Corey is not like any other girl I've ever met.
Corey: I always say it's how he can just go with anything. He can make anything work and make the best out of everything. Like the fact that he came over here for me. Not a lot of people could do that for just one person, it's not like there were all these other reasons and opportunities. It's been tough, he's been here for over a year and a half and hasn't been able to work legally, and hasn't had a whole group of friends, but he still makes the most out of everything and seems really happy.
13. What advice would you give to your single selves about relationships?
Corey: I would say just don't worry about being single. Like I said, I was single for a very long time. I worried that I didn't meet anyone I really liked. I could have a nice date but I was never interested in having more than that with anyone. I would say it's worth waiting for. You can find someone that's your best friend and you can have fun.
Joel: I would say, wait for Corey. Just keep waiting.