Nikki & Jeff
Established- October 12th, 2009
What was your first date ever?
Jeff: My first date ever was in 6th grade. My parents took us and sat in the back of the theater. I took her to go see "The Addams Family". She broke up with me a week later. I asked her why and she said, "because all you ever do now is ask me how I like the movie." That's what I consider my first date, it didn't go well.
Nikki: I guess my first date was when I was 16, my parents didn't allow going anywhere by yourself. He was borderline goth. Like eyeliner wearing, which is weird for me.
Jeff: The one thing Nikki has vowed she would never allow in our house is goth. The girls can be anything they want, just not goth.
Nikki: Like serious goth. Blood coming out of your eyes and all that. So he came and met my dad. I don't remember where we went or what we did, it was definitely a one time thing.
4. What was your “type” when you were dating?
Jeff: Black Girls. That's a lie. Ummmm, I like nice girls. I made that mistake dating, I thought, "maybe I like bad girls?" I introduced a woman to my dad and he was caught off guard. "Uh, nice to meet you?" I like the girl next door.
Nikki: I've dated mostly white guys. Not really what I set out to do, but it just sort of happened. I think in our business, there aren't a lot of straight choices.
Jeff: Are you saying that's why we wound up together? Lack of choices?
Nikki: I said I didn't waste time. Thinking back over the people I dated there are a lot of different personalities. You're the best person I dated.
Jeff: I will say, my type now, black girls.
6. How did you describe the other person to your friends before you introduced them?
Nikki: I would just say, he's so nice. He's the nicest person. And we're actually friends. We were friends before we started dating. That was a first for me. I just knew that I really liked him as a person.
Jeff: I think the first time I described you to my mom I remember saying, "This is the sweetest girl I've ever met." I think those were maybe my exact words. Also the most talented. I had such a talent crush on you. I still do.
2. Worst date you ever went on?
Nikki: I had some of those terrible, "I hate this date" experiences. Oh, I have a story. I met up with this guy for brunch before Lestat and I realized very quickly that he was gay. For some reason I had blocked my phone number. I wanted to text him but didn't want him to have my number. What I had done instead of blocking him was accidentally forwarded all my calls to his number. So people were calling me and thought that he had kidnapped me. So I show up to the stage door and the stage manager was like, "are you ok?" I guess my best friend had called my phone, heard his voice and called my family and they were all thinking the worst. I think my family had all called his phone asking "have you got my sister?" That was probably the worst.
Jeff: Sophmore year of high school I got to take a girl on a date on my own. I picked her up and took her to a movie. I chose the movie, thinking it would be fun. So I chose Starship Troopers. It was a terrible choice for a movie. It's kind of gory. There was some sexual tension in there. When you're out with a freshman in high school I could tell she was uncomfortable. That was my bad.
3. What did you like about being single?
Jeff: I was like, never single.
Nikki: As an adult, I thought it was cool when I got my own apartment, I was doing this thing on my own. A woman and actress in NY I was supporting myself and doing this.
Jeff: I didn't really like casual dating. I felt like as soon as I went on a date with someone it wasn't going anywhere. Or maybe it was, so I should see it through, so we'd go on a couple of dates. But it wasn't really something I got into. I was only maybe single for 6 months in there before I went out with Nikki.
Nikki: I wasn't like that at all. I knew right away. Why waste time?
5. How did you meet?
Jeff: At the stage door for Lestat, because I went to see Tommar. And when I was talking to him after she came out and he introduced us. She does not recall this at all.
Nikki: We first really met during Les Mis. First day of rehearsal.
Jeff: She said, I'll be your big sister. Come to me if you need anything.
Nikki: Tommar told me to show him the ropes.
Jeff: And so she did.
8. Did anything about your relationship surprise you at first?
Nikki: It surprised me how quickly it got serious. Like I said what I did about boyfriend a week in. And we said, "I love you" in a month or so.
Jeff: Yeah, I mean we'd known each other for 9 months. But I definitely wasn't looking for something that sudden. I had vowed that I was not going to get into a serious relationship at that point in my life. I was 25 and I was going to take at least until I was 30. She ruined that one.
7. What do you remember about the “define the relationship” conversation?
Jeff: When she told me "I think I want you to be my boyfriend." She just said it, and it was happening.
Nikki: Yeah, I think it was about a week in.
Jeff: I thought it was going to be the coolest 3 weeks of my life, and then she was going to end it. Then the day after we kissed for the first time I was playing it cool and I texted her. "Hey, good time hanging out last night." Then she immediately called me. That freaked me out, I was like why is she calling me? Then about a week later she said, "I think I want you to be my boyfriend."
9. Did you give anything up for this relationship?
Nikki: No, I don't feel like I did.
Jeff: No, final answer
10. What do you think was the most challenging moment in your relationship up to now?
Jeff: Potty Training.
Nikki: I mean yeah, becoming parents with Lena there was a time in there.
Jeff: I lost my mind for a minute and questioned all my choices. When we had a five week old and let me tell you, sleep deprivation is a real thing. Having a newborn the first time was hard.
11. What’s your favorite part of the relationship now?
Nikki: I think my favorite part is when we get alone time together after the show. When we can hang out at home.
Jeff: I look forward to that so much. I love our daughters so much too, and I love the time we get to spend with them. But, I do look forward to the peace of sleeping children. It's my favorite part of the day. Just getting to sit and talk.
Nikki: Being able to talk without being interrupted
Jeff: Some parents talk about not having anything to discuss other than their children, and we certainly do talk about them, but we don't have that issue.
12. What inspires you about your partner?
Nikki: Honestly, I always give him a hard time, but how willing he is to see the good in people. And how he wants to do right by people. Even though I worry he's sometimes being taken advantage of, it's sort of a good lesson for me, I tend to be more jaded and suspicious. It's allowed me to be more open to giving people another chance.
Jeff: I didn't think that would be it, you always make fun of me. I like how when she makes up her mind about something, it's one of her great strengths when she comes to a conclusion she goes after it. She's passionate about it and she does it
13. What advice would you give to your single selves about relationships?
Jeff: I would say, find the person that makes you the best version of yourself. That is who I found with her, someone that inspires me and makes me better. Someone who lifts me up. I've been in relationships where I was less than myself. You spend so much time with someone and they magnify the good or the bad.
Nikki: I think I would tell myself to never settle. The person who is perfect for you and who you deserve is out there. So just persevere.